4/7/2023 0 Comments Vocalized pauses![]() ![]() We may have learned to think silence signals ignorance, or lack of preparation, or weakness. Rather than allow silence to step in as we assemble our next statement, we throw an um or uh in to fill the gap. Many of us learned to be afraid of silence in a conversation. The Need to Fill/Avoid Silence. When we speak, we often need a nanosecond to string together the next thought in our minds. In my experience, there are a few key psychological needs that vocalized pauses meet. Once you’ve established that, answer me this: what purpose does the vocalized pause serve? Do you say “like” a lot? Do you find it hard to make a statement without ending it by saying, “you know?” Or are you more of an “um” and “uh” person? So take a moment, and determine what your vocalized pause issue sounds like. Otherwise it wouldn’t have become so ingrained. Like any habit, we picked it up because it worked for us on some level. Whenever I work with clients on this, we first look at the why of it. If the answer is “yes,” get ready to dive into some interesting self-exploration. If you’re not sure, ask someone you trust to be honest with you. Now, you may be asking, “Is that me? Is this a big problem for me?” You know your “um” habit is worth resolving if your vocalized pauses are a distraction to your audience. It’s like, um, become a defining part of, like, our speech habits, you know? But some of us have really picked up the habit. All of us have picked up a bit of this habit. ![]() Just hang out at your local Starbucks for 20 minutes, or sit through a meeting and you’ll quickly notice that it ain’t just you, friend. If you are someone who struggles with the tyranny of the vocalized pause, there are two things I want you to know:ġ) You are not alone, and 2) there is a solution.Īs much as you may feel alone in this problem, you are not. The “ums” the “uhs” the “like”s that can riddle our spoken sentences like bullet holes. ![]()
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